i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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