haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
