Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
