So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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