somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
