youre lurking in front of me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
