Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
