dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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