I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
