Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
