I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
