Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
