Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
