so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
