wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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