he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
