I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
