I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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