I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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