Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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