She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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