One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
