when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize