i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
