Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
