how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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