then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
