He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize