we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
