Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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