I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
