have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize