He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Two words: nipple clamps
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