but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
