so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The air was thick with penises
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
