I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
