giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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