Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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