hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
