there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
