AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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