Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
