Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
