Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
