Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
