i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
