You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
