remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
