Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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