so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
