We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
