Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
