very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
