I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
