Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
