Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize