Soap is not a condiment
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
