DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
