Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
